Tired. Sleep is getting more and more difficult. Trying to go before the throne of God for help in time of need to keep my attitude in check during the end of this part of the journey.
Church is ALWAYS good for that and church last night was excellent. I went by myself because Dave is recovering from poison ivy which is like one massive sore covering his body and some flu/virus/something that his doctor gave him antibiotics and a prescription cough medicine for. Between the two of us, we have managed to take care of our child and get through these last few days. Dave is at work today.
Yesterday was my doctor’s appointment. I was so glad to be able to go by myself even though I had been praying I wouldn’t have the doctor’s appointment. I can see why some people just skip all of them and go to the emergency room when in labor. Fortunately the receptionist had complete mercy on me because of my long wait last week and got me right in. And they all missed Henry. So cute. I asked my doctor why I had to have an internal exam every week (have had them since 36 weeks) if they don’t do anything or tell you when you will go into labor. She told me they were optional which I wish I had known because I would have totally skipped them. Oh well.
So my blood pressure was up in the beginning of the appointment when the nurse checked it. Probably because I was on the verge of having a melt down. I was feeling like a big baby but didn’t want to have a break down in front of the doctor. By the time the doctor came in she told me she would be out all next week. That pushed me closer to the edge (I love her and want her to deliver the baby but don’t want to wait until the following week). Then she said she would strip my membranes if I hadn’t had the baby by the time she got back on June 25. Another push. Thinking about June 25 was a hard date to swallow. All of these things are really not that big of a deal. It’s just perspective and mine was overwhelmed. Then when calculating due dates they add 40 weeks to the first day of your last cycle. My comes to June 21 but some how it got recorded wrong in my paper work recently and was listed as June 22. Now, in the realm of life a due date is an estimation and really means very little other than that. But again, 24 hours more written down was another push for this very tired person.
So I had a few hours of being overwhelmed and drained and done. Now I am praying for labor every day.
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ,
EVERY/ ALL spiritual blessings. Love this verse from church last night.