Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Friday, June 12, 2015

Beloved Bobbie Jo Off to New Horizons

I posted this on Facebook and wanted to repost to my blog (I left original typos as well):

For Our Beloved Bobbie Jo and all those hearts bleeding over her loss. I have been asking God how does one wrap words around a life so short that effected so many? Words can never give what we had in Bobbie justice. But here they are.

In a world filled with isolation and individualism, she offered community and togetherness. In a world of mass blind consumption, she savored every bite. In a world too heavy laden with their own pain to glimpse on another's, she shouldered up with open arms and an open heart. In world of survival of the fittest, she joined the under dog every. single. time. In a world where life is disposable, she valued and saw beauty in every person. In a world of iphones and 100% accessibility, the world stopped when she was with you. In a world of ADHD and interruption overload, she listened like no one I have ever met. In a world of rote, meaningless motion, she lived every moment and made every decision with passion.

To me she was a perfectly imperfect representation of something we all long for and how God made our life to be. She was a perfectly imperfect representation of Jesus Christ Himself. She is a life well lived because she loved. For without love, life is nothing. Our loss would not be bitter if our time with her had not been so sweet. I will take the pain, if it means I get to keep the blessing. For that I am grateful and would not change history. I am thankful to God for creating such a wonderful woman and that she allowed Christ's life to shine through her. I am forever indebted to her family for sharing her last moments with so many of us.

For someone who never wanted to alone, you are brave, my jerk, my friend, my sister to go on to meet Jesus before us. New Horizons where you are happy and whole. We love you!

Monday, January 12, 2015

ancient healing elixir for my soul

i am learning a new level of obedience to God and it is smashing fears, anxieties and stresses down in my soul faster than anything i have ever known.  it's like a drug that i think i am becoming addicted to.  my soul has found a new level of freedom.  such a paradox.  freedom in obedience.

don't get me wrong.  i have been making choices for God for years.  but there is living the christian life  by christian values.  that is noble.

this is a new level.

i have been desperately seeking and asking God and reading and getting into His Word.  things i have been doing for years now.  but what sets apart the person that lives the christian life and the christian that has really truly been set free?  the one who can deliver others because she has been delivered.  this has been my question to God for the last year.

is it moving to a foreign land? no.  is it becoming a famous speaker? no.  is it quitting your job and working only for the ministry? no.  is it a Bible college degree?  no.

now, i know we will never be completely delivered from this old man(woman) that lives inside us until we leave this earth.

but what releases us from the bondage from others and our own poor choices?  the Word of God.  now what a simple answer that is.  and we all know it.  at least devout christians.  but seriously.  the ones i have studied who have been delivered are the ones who studied the Word.  "man must not live by bread alone but by every word of God."

it's not only food for our soul, it's the ancient healing elixir for my soul.  it's medicine.  it's surgery.  it's a healing balm.

if i eat it and savoring it knowing it's the secret potion to heal the cancer of my soul, my soul responds.

deliberate memorization of the Word to heal the soul.

so that is part one.  i have memorized scriptures off and on.  but this year i am making a deliberate habit and have specific deadlines (mostly because i joined an online scripture memory community).  but i joined the group to enforce discipline on myself and to record what God does in this step of faith.  and i really, really believe He will do big things.

i also have finally - well, let's not get too proud here - i have started to understand on a deeper level that God knows me better than i know myself (i know that's pretty darn ridiculous and thick headed but it's quite true).  God spoke something to me over the fall and i have taken steps of obedience in a faith journey i would not have chosen myself and i really have no idea where it will lead.  but the peace that has flooded in and the relief my fingers feel after prying the grip off my own life is immeasurable.  my hands have been so well trained, it's an unconscious habit to pick up my life again like i created it and know best for myself.  but they are also slowly learning to quickly let go again because what does the clay know about creating a vessel?  that is best left to the Potter.  so much easier said than done.  but i cannot wait to see what He does and to tell everyone.

i cannot wait to see what this year brings.

this faith walk with God.

sledding in a winter wonderland... with a chicken

it ain't easy getting outside.  so much easier to enjoy the warmth of a fire on a snowy afternoon.  a snowy monday afternoon.  a snowy afternoon weeks into major changes in your life.  and the transition isn't necessarily smooth sledding.

henry started at the local school a week and a half before a two week christmas vacation.  he loves school but we've had some bumps in the road.  all typical of raising a spirited chicken farmer.  i am really proud of the young man he's becoming.  so inquisitive and such an imagination.

i am learning to trust God with him.  not easy loosing the grip on the first born.  but i am learning that the possessive love produces strongholds.  and God's love is the love that draws and frees and grows and releases and creates a safety net that possessive love tries to counterfeit but ALWAYS comes short.