Small Me

Last night’s message was on Is. 54:2-7 about not living in small places!  What makes us live in small places?  Family pain, a thorn in the flesh and not trusting that God writes His truth on our hearts and minds.

Wow!  I remember moving to Bible College and how small my world was.  My smallness was a reaction to the ways of the world.  I thought I was something and the world showed me how small and insignificant I really was.  It’s amazing that God’s truth meets us with the exact opposite.  In Him we we have so much signifigance that He came and died for us.  We have so much signifigance that He will never leave us or forsake us.  We have so much signifigance that He supplies all of our needs.  Imagine the Creator of the Universe caring about our smallest need.  That isn’t small at all!  That’s powerful and magnificent and mind blowing. 

My other smallness  did come with family pain.  Growing pains the first few years of marriage.  Realizing that you can’t force blood family members to care or love.  The death of the closest blood relative.  I remember consciously making my world very small.   It’s a defense mechanism.  But it’s very depressing.  We weren’t designed for that.  On bad days I can still make my world very small in my own head.  That’s why reaching out to God through His Word is so key in my life.  It enlarges my world and takes my focus off myself.  Self focus is the quickest way to reduce my life to nothing.  I don’t have to reach far for God because He’s always there.  He just doesn’t force Himself into my head.

I have reduced my world because of a thorn in my flesh.  In this way my brother’s death was very healthy for me.  We are such self centered creatures we believe everything has to go our way.  I think even when we think we are surrendering to God’s will/ plan a lot of times we are manipulating or we think we are to get our own way.  There’s something about a physical death that is so final.  There’s no bringing the person back.  There’s no fixing that particular situation.  It’s learning to live with a thorn in your flesh and learning to praise God for it and trusting His provision for your situation.  It’s a great teacher.

What’s with the yellow truck?  We have no water today.  They are fixing the sewer lines in our neighborhood.  So… we are going to be out and about Lord willing.  Henry is just waking up and I hear a little cough.