Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Lost in the Woods

I have only been lost in the woods once that I can remember. Vinny and I were young and playing in the snow in the woods behind our house in the winter. We kept walking while it was snowing and then realized we couldn't see our tracks to find our way home. We were so young I don't remember exactly what we were thinking or saying except that we kept searching for an opening in the woods and hoping to see our house. Then something happened that both of us remembered crystal clearly into adulthood. We saw an opening in the woods. We saw a field and a house that was exactly like our house. We thought we made it home and then realized the house was exactly the same except the door was moved slightly. It wasn't disappointing at all. It was very, very comforting to both of us. Soon after that we found our way home. For years after that we tried to find that house in the woods and never could. We thought it might have been a vision from God to comfort us.

My intention wasn't really to share that story but to share how much grief is like being lost in the woods alone. When you're truly lost in the woods alone, you don't know when you're getting out. You may think you're almost there and then after walking for several seconds, minutes or hours realize that you're not. You can feel like you're making progress and suddenly see the same rock outcropping you saw hours ago. Thoughts and memories of people can comfort you just like people can comfort you when you're in grief. But you realize that you are alone and on this journey you have to walk alone. When the sun is shining you can navigate and make some progress but when the storm and darkness cover you there can be intense emotion, pain and physical exhaustion that make you want to give up and not go any further. Then the morning comes and the Light that shines down on you gives you hope and strength to journey on. You stop on a hillside and feast on the fruits of the forest and pretend that you are not lost in the woods but you will stay in this place for the rest of time until you face the darkness, the pain alone. What I mean by alone is no other person can walk this path with you, but God. God holds your hand and gently guides you - sometimes carries you. I am convinced without God you cannot make it through the journey of grief. He is the great Comforter. He is the great Healer. He prays for us when all we can do is groan. Most of all, He knows what it is to walk alone. He came to this earth alone, walked up Golgotha alone, shed His blood alone, paid for my sins and your sins alone, died alone and rose again alone. Thank God we have a Saviour that knows something about journeying alone.

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