What My Mother Taught Us

My mother would probably kill me if she saw that I had a picture of her up on my blog. It's not a good picture but it's one of the only ones I have on this computer. It was taken at her 50th birthday party at my house(October 2007). We (her family) gave her a trip to Louisiana. She got to go to the Bayou, the french quarter of New Orleans and St Francisville. Vinny sent her on that trip too. Thank you Vinny, we couldn't have done it without you.

Tonight my mother, Dan, their entourage, my grandmother, Molly, Wayne, Sam and I went out to dinner in Belfast and then some of us went to a musical in a park. During dinner we were reading letters and cards that different people had written to my mom and looking over Vinny's memorial invitation. I actually can't even look at it without bawling my head off. The picture just kills me. It cuts so deep I can't even put it into words. Needless to say we spent much of dinner crying. The play was a much needed relief from our sadness. One of the letters my mother received was about her character and how it was reflected in Vinny. It made me think.

My mother was 20 years old when she found herself alone with a 1 year old and 2 year old to raise. Not to mention she was broken hearted. I can't even imagine. She got married again and when she was pregnant with her third child with a 4 and 5 year old, she was a single mother again. To say my mother had guts, character and determination is an understatement. She wasn't the warm, fuzzy loving mother. She wasn't this way because she really had to work so hard and was beat down. She put all her energy towards supporting and feeding her children and there were times when she had to trust God for our food. I remember them. Saying it was a struggle is putting it mildly. Saying she had to walk alone as a person (God was always there) is not an exaggeration.

What did she teach us? She taught us to work hard. She didn't have to say any of these words to us - she lived it. She taught us when people kick you when you're down, you still have to get up and walk on. She did this or we wouldn't have survived. She taught us loyalty. She sacrificed for us. She could have walked away but she was loyal. She taught us to be kind hearted. She always demonstrated that there were other people less fortunate than us by taking people into our home year after year. She taught us to have guts. She had to have guts. She taught us that having great character had meaning. Most everyone who knows her would say she is an amazing woman. She taught us not to be babies. She didn't get babied by life and she didn't baby us.

My mother wasn't the type of woman to sit down and have a heart to heart. She probably didn't have the time or energy. She was very demanding and had high expectations. I can see how her life formed us. I can say I am very proud of the person my brother Vinny is. I have to give a lot of credit to my mom because she is the person who raised him.