Thoughts

Why is it that when you want background noise at 4:30 - 5 am there is only paid programming on TV? I guess not many people are watching this early on Saturday morning.

I remember this message a dear pastor preached a few years back (maybe 7 or 8). David wrote some of the Psalms from a cave when he was on the run. When he was in the cave he didn't pretend that being in the cave was great and put pictures up and really dress up the cave. The cave stinks. Sometimes we are in a cave in our life and the cave stinks. We cry out to God. A cave can be so many things in our lives. The past few weeks have been a cave for me. I think the reality of Vinny's death in the beginning was the most difficult thing I've ever been through and the idea of not seeing his face for a long time hurt deeply. Now comes the missing part. I don't know if I miss him so much more because it's Christmas and his birthday this month. I didn't think that would effect me. It might be a combination of this deep pain and my pregnancy but I also really want to stick close to my house. The benefits of that are a very clean house and more decked out for Christmas than ever before. It creates a very cheerful environment. My social event attendance has gone down the drain this month but I'm giving myself grace. Sorry I didn't get to eat your delicious cookies at Christmas By the Sea Annie. My saving grace during this difficult time, which does bring me many moments of joy in the midst of sadness, are the life of my son, my supportive husband, going to church and hearing the Word of God. Thank God, God knows our frame and what weak, frail beings we are. Thank God He is the Great Comforter.