Thursday, March 28, 2013

Heart Sick & Overwhelmed

Being a Christian is neither popular nor convenient.  Neither will be this post.  Nor will I.  For I am a Christian.  All be it, a weak, frail, failure in my own strength, but a child of God thanks to the nails that pierced my Savior and the blood that was shed to save my soul.  Seriously, that is worth all of the heartaches and stresses I face/ we face in this life.

My heart is sick.  I literally feel like crying.  Who knows if I can express it properly while expressing my heart for God and for others.

A tidal wave of self indulgence, emotionalism, gratification, being our own god, is sweeping over our culture like never before.  And I can see and feel why people's Biblical convictions get swept away.  It all seems fair and noble and right.  My heart is troubled that my kids will grow up in a society where a relationship whether same sex or opposite sex is a means to gratify yourself and when that ends it's disposable.  Where anything you want to try is tolerated and abstinence from anything from materialism, commercialism, sex to drugs is frowned upon.  Trying is searching.  Searching is finding ourselves.  And God is just a picture on the wall or a pendant hanging from our necks.

And, by the way, God made me this way (sarcasm).  Yes, we all have genetic weaknesses.  Just like I would like to cram these feelings down with the pan of brownies on the counter.  We are all seriously screwed up.  The Bible makes that clear.  I just don't get where the line gets drawn if the line disappears.  If God isn't real and there's no moral standard, what is the moral standard?  If not the Bible?  I am serious.  It doesn't hurt a child to grow up without a father?  Whether the father left or the "mothers" are lesbians?   I am living proof that a child needs a father in the home.  Heck, the entire nation is screaming we are missing fathers.  It's something innately in us.  It's how God designed us.  You harm a child without a mother and you harm a child without a father.  Even if they have plenty of people to love them.  Because I certainly did and so did my late brother.  And because I am predisposed to an anger problem, does that excuse my rage?  If a person is predisposed to be a child abuser, do we excuse them because God made them that way?  I mean we all are failures and have weaknesses, and God knows and loves us.  I am certainly no better than anyone else.  I am not a better person, Christian, wife, or mother.  I fail in every single category daily.  But the idea that our culture redefines life and marriage is very disturbing to me.  That the size soda an adult can purchase is in question but not if I want to kill a beating heart as long as it hasn't seen the light of day makes me think/know our culture is extremely shallow.  That it's acceptable to destroy a husband's life, a wife's life and most of all a child's life for selfish ambitions.  I am not above doing any of it.  It's just that it's not only accepted, it's suggested.

Pleasure is the god of our day.  The elite status car, the nice neighborhood, the good school, the sexual pleasure, the drinks.  We imprison ourselves to them and sacrifice our relationships in the name of freedom while the spikes at the end of our chains go deeper into the cement of selfishness.  Yup, been there.  Will probably be there again.  But I know there's a difference between failing and redefining the definition.  So there's no moral standard.  It's not that it's going to hurt one person, it's going to hurt us all.

How do we begin to raise our kids in this culture without the tidal wave taking them under?  Maybe God has allowed us to live in such a time as this.  The Jews in the time of Esther were fully integrated into society, so they weren't recognizable as different from the rest of the nation.  Isn't that where we have been and are as Christians?  Busy with our busy lives.  Who can tell us apart other than we may not be available for social events on Sunday mornings and maybe we don't swear (most of the time) or drink.  But is there anything that sets us apart?  Do we know what is going on in our culture?  I am preaching to myself.  I am sickened by myself.  We are called to be set apart ones in such a time as this.  My prayer is that I will be.  No matter what the consequences.  To love each person with God's love but not to compromise my convictions.  I am sure I will not be tolerated by the "tolerant".  But in the wise words of Abraham Lincoln, "My concern is not whether God is on my side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right."

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