2009, you have taught me so much. What is the first thing that comes to mind when reflecting on 2009? – Henry. For so many years I feared having a child – he was with me before 2009 – but we met face to face on March 14. No words can do justice, no song could stir a deep enough emotion, no artist could capture the love that consumes me for this precious gift from God. Being a mother drives me further towards God knowing weak little me has been entrusted with this little soul. Treasure. Treasure every day. Treasure every moment. That’s what I tell myself continuously. How could anyone look at this perfect creation and not believe in a Loving Creator? My love for Henry and my loss of Vinny has been my greatest teacher of 2009.
My second reflection? I learned to cope with the loss of my dear brother for a whole calendar year. Had I been asked if I could survive that on July 8, 2008, the answer most assuredly would have been no. God’s grace is sufficient. End of story. The loss of one life changed how the entire world measured time. Before Christ and A.D. (the year of our Lord). My calendar year seems to be before Vinny’s death and after.
Heart ache is a great teacher. I wouldn’t trade any of it if it meant I wouldn’t have had Vinny, I wouldn’t have gained Henry and, most, most, most importantly I wouldn’t have the relationship I have with God today. Is it perfect? – no. It’s a work in progress.
Tired – may be revised or erased in the morning.
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