Vinny

I tried to keep myself busy today to avoid thinking or talking about the one year anniversary of Vinny's death. My cousins are up from PA and my mom cooked us a fabulous lunch. Of course we started talking about Vinny. My mom has a poetry book that Vinny wrote and carried with him through out the years. I told my mom I don't want to read or hear his poetry now and maybe not ever. His death has been a very painful (and will continue to be) process. The blessing in all of it is I know it's painful for all of us, not for Vinny. Vinny is whole now. I have carried in my heart his deep pains - some are the same for me. I want to remind myself they are gone - not what they were. Thank God they are gone. We all deal with loss differently - it's a process and it's a time to learn to be patient with yourself and just let God love you. One moment I'm fine and the next I'm a mess.