Emphasis on all. That's what yesterday's service was about. And the ending theme of the book Kisses for Katie that I finished at midnight even though I was extremely tired and knew I would be up several times in the night and early in the morning. I just couldn't stop reading. It was that good. Yesterday during the sermon our pastor played part of Amish Grace. Incredibly intense. Had I been home by myself I would have been heaving bawling. I was trying to hold myself together. The thought. Too much. Then I finished one of my favorite books. And started meditating on all things. Giving thanks in all things.
I was really planning on having this incredibly grateful day. I really was. Henry's first swim lesson was today. Something I had planned for my work went to Hades in a hand basket and there was personality conflict, opposition and the day continued to be an up hill battle. And the little tasks became major. By the time we got to the swim lesson I was trying desperately to keep Hudson from running out in the general facility or from jumping in the toilet or getting through the door of the lap pool, while trying to get Henry undressed and in his swim trunks while he was meeting every new person he saw. I should have been enjoying the gifts of both of my children. The moment in their lives. But I was completely stressed trying to get Henry to the pool while managing an extremely brave and active 18 month old. Getting phone calls about people's opinions and texts for my work mini fiasco. We made it to the pool and I finally sat down on the parents' bench to watch Henry and sat in an inch of water. In my jeans. Still holding a wild man who by this time was slapping me across the face. Henry's listening was limited to start, so I was at the same time giving him the mother look across the pool. Then Hudson wanted to dive into the pool, so he resorted to screaming. I kindly asked Henry's instructor is I was allowed to leave the area and then walked by all the other parents with my arching baby and my wet bottom. Then I walked through the rest of the YMCA to find the kids' play gym packed for the first time since I joined. By that time I just didn't care. It was a port in my storm. I managed to get a few snap shots of Henry's first lesson all the while getting extreme mother guilt about not being in a better frame of mind. The post lesson locker room was almost a replay of the pre lesson except Henry decided to attack hug his new friend and run and scream the length of it. By the time we made it to the door up a major flight of stairs (why didn't I take the elevator???), I just couldn't handle setting Hudson down one more time to zip Henry's coat.
It took me a while to process all of this after repenting for my attitude and mustering enough desire to make dinner. I asked God, why after such a spiritual high did I have a crappy day? When I started out really wanted to seek God and hear His voice.
I got this revelation about the giving thanks for all things... I tend to go to an extreme in my mind. Like really bad things. But I almost think it's more difficult or one needs more grace for the daily things that can needle at your nerves and mountain with pressure until you feel the weight of Everest. It's so ridiculous. It's almost laughable what a baby I can be. But it's a reminder that it's all grace. ALL. The none of our flesh is good and I need less of me and more of Him.
So at the end of this day, I give thanks for the lesson He has taught me.
And I am still super excited about Kisses for Katie and really want everyone to read it!!
And more excited to see my big boy start swimming lessons. He was very brave and a little naughty. He splashed his teacher in the face. When Dave asked him why later tonight. He said to make her laugh.