Almost Back to Normal

We have spent some hours cleaning our house since Christmas afternoon.

We can eat on the dining room table now.  When we get rid of the Christmas tree and move the plant, this room will be back to normal.

This room has come along way.  We put our Christmas gifts away.  Not knee deep in gifts and gift wrapping.

Thanks to Dave, the kitchen is looking much better.  Christmas is fun but it’s always nice to have an organized house again.

Henry and I visited some new friends today.  I love their house and the moms had a blast talking about God and health.  I learned a lot!

My Aunt’s Family

Here is a photo of my Aunt Teresa’s family minus her son Jake.

Books, Books, Books, I Love Books

So excited about the books I got for Christmas.  Here are some of them. 

The weather outside is frightful but the reading by the fire has been delightful.

Loves his new bath toys.

Extended Christmas on Vinny’s Birthday

It’s kind of cool how we waited to open half of Henry’s presents until today.  Almost as if it were to honor Vinny’s birthday.  It just worked out that way.  Maybe we will do it every year.

Reading a book in the middle of our not-yet-picked-up-Christmas-mess.

Opening presents from Dave’s side of the family.

And presents from us.

I can hear Henry downstairs using his tools from Aunt Desi and Uncle Glenn as I post these pictures.

Time to change the oil in his shirt as my grandfather always says.

He opened this on Christmas.  From his cousins Teagan and Christopher.  He REALLY loves it!

Thank you everyone!  He really loves all of his toys and books.  He is playing with all of them!

Number 3

Today is Vinny’s third birthday in heaven.  He has been gone from this earth for almost 2.5 years.  So weird.  I don’t think a waking hour goes by that I don’t think of him.  I am reading Larry Crabb’s Shattered Dreams.  It’s a very good book.  He talks about people just trying to manage their pain.  To experience just enough happiness so we can cope with a pain that never goes away.  People who have not experienced great loss don’t understand this concept.  God doesn’t want us to “just deal” with it.  He wants to take us beyond a measure of happiness to true joy in the midst of great pain.  That’s what Larry Crabb illustrates in his book through the story of Naomi. 

You should read the book.  Really, you should.

Am I mad about Vinny’s death?  No.  Do I question God about it?  No.  I don’t think it’s wrong if people do though.  I don’t think I’ve arrived because I don’t.  It’s very self righteous to put someone else’s trials that God has ordained for them on your time timeline of expectations for them.  Don’t go there.  Do I have more peace about Vinny in how it relates to my own life?  Certainly.   I firmly believe that God did not design us for death.  We are physical beings and because of the fall we all experience the death of loved ones and our own death.  It’s beyond our comprehension to fully process the physical loss of someone so close.  With time it gets easier for me.  I do have many moments when I say to myself, “Oh my gosh, my brother’s dead.  He’s dead.  He’s dead.”  My brother will never see my son on earth.  My brother will never call me again.  My brother isn’t going to show up.  He’s gone.  He’s gone.  Yes, I still have many, many moments like these.  I count it a privilege to suffer with others who lose people.  Especially a sudden loss.  Not being able to say goodbye.  God has put me in the ranks with a group of people.  I am thankful.  I am thankful to know what it means to not want to pick yourself up off the bathroom floor.  To not want to go on.  I am thankful to know what it means to not be able to physically breathe because of the effect of grief on your body.  I am thankful to know what it feels like to be in so much pain a few months after the death and to have a close relative ask what is wrong because they have already forgotten.  To feel like you have to hide your grief.  I am thankful I have been there.

Christmas 2010

The Next Generation of Pease Cousins with Sam from Our Generation as the Leader of the Pack

Spencer (Nate’s), Henry (mine), Sam (Molly’s), Teagan (Zac’s), Christopher (Zac’s) and Nevaeh (Nate’s)

Teagan, Henry attack hugging Nevaeh

Beautiful Teagan and beautiful Nevaeh

Beautiful Annie carrying Henry

Teagan and Christopher

Our main little guy opening his stocking on Christmas morning.  He still hasn’t opened most of his gifts yet.

The Day Before The Day Before

Feeling Guilty because of the busyness of the days before Christmas, I suited Henry up in some snow gear (fortunately some people at church had given us some hand-me-down snow pants or else we wouldn’t have had any) and we headed outside.  It took so long to get us ready.  We are not used to this routine yet.  I was really looking forward to making a snowman with Henry.  He did not like playing in the snow.  He kept asking to go outside because he wanted to take a ride in the truck.  A little man after his dad’s own heart.

Not so happy about the situation.

A holiday pillow I made for a gift right before I broke the needle on my sewing machine.

Our Christmas tree.

I like the reflection in the windows.

Some beautiful flowers I received from Saltanat.  So special. 

A scarf I have been wearing daily since winning it in the Yankee Gift Swap at Stacey’s Christmas party.  She made it.

Now to finish gift wrapping, brunch planning, sewing, cleaning and, most of all, figuring out how to keep our minds on and celebrating the Reason for the season.